Episode 134: Keeping The Standards Up In Relationship

The importance of standards in supporting long term relationships

I don't know about anyone else, but the fairy tales that I heard as a child tended to promise that after the initial barriers to love were beaten, it was happy ever after! I thought all you had to do was find your soul mate and the rest would be easy! 

The reality is somewhat different and it turns out that if you want your relationship to continue to be meaningful, some expectations of effort need to be still met.

When a couple hasn't had discussions about expectations and standards in a relationship that are measurable, it is easy to lose our way. Setting agreed-upon standards, committing to those standards and regular check-ins can really be vital to staying together in a meaningful way.

This episode explores the value of standards in supporting, long term healthy relating.

Episode 76: Keeping Our Romantic Relationship Healthy

Keep the magic and desire alive

Modern relationships are changing and under pressure like never before thanks to all the external demands of our everyday lives, career and social pressures.

The thinking and expectations for people have changed around relationships and it has never been easier than now to leave if it isn't working out.

This episode looks at some key elements for helping us to create stability in our relationships whilst also keeping alive the magic and desire. 

Relationships no matter how suitable require continued work and investment. It can become so easy in the face of all our modern life demands to push our romantic relationship to the back. Do this continually and we really begin to put ourselves on unsteady ground!

I hope this episode provides some important touch points to help support successful relating!

Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.

Episode 51: Emotional Fusing In Relationship

Is it Love or just Emotional Fusing that you are experiencing in your relationship?

When we grow up in family systems that didn't foster and support our right to individuality, we learn that love involves unhealthy fusing. (Eg: When mum was unhappy, everyone was unhappy!)

This episode draws from the wonderful work of Dr David Schnarch and in particular his book Passionate Marriage.

The episode goes through some elements of unhealthy emotional fusing dynamics and how it leads to couples feeling alienated from one another.

This episode is designed to point out some of the exchanges to avoid so that we are able to have a truly wonderful and meaningful connection in our relationships, taking our relational experience to a whole other level!

Episode 43: Understanding Verbal Abuse

Elements that make up Verbal Abuse in relationships

Verbal like physical abuse happens behind closed doors and the victim can feel isolated, confused and as if they somehow are to blame.

This episode uses Patricia Evans' insightful book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" as a reference and a resource.

Through understanding some of the patterns of toxic verbal abuse we can reclaim our right to healthy relating or keep an eye out for our friends and family members who may be in this type of terrible experience.

What are some key red flags to look for in relating between two people, and what happens when we are playing by different relationship rules that we weren't informed about?

Episode 40: They Aren't Going To Change

Can we take the necessary steps of courage on our own behalf?

In this Episode we look at the desire we have for our partner to change and do something different. When are they going to be more loving, considerate and acknowledge how I feel?

Some people choose to hold onto a fantasy that their partner will change despite the everyday evidence that clearly shows nothing is different at all! Why hold onto a wishful desire that in time they will finally see the error of their ways and completely transform.

The likelihood of this is slim without engaging in some form of active, recovery, healing, self-development or recovery work. It can be painful to face reality but it is the gateway to a more wondrous, loving and fulfilling relationship experience.

Episode 39: Using your Relationship as a Crash Point

Bring your best self home

Modern life is so demanding and we can get pulled in so many directions. As a result, we can unintentionally put our intimate relationship on the back burner.

We give all day to others and then come home and crash onto the couch, disappear into social media and forget to connect with the one we love most.

If we continue to use our home and our relationship as a place to go to shut down then ultimately our relationship will be at risk. We lose the spark as we are only giving our best selves to our customers and the big wide world. All we have left consistently for our partners is the crumbs.

We need to make sure we bring our best selves home once in a while like we did when the relationship began if we want to keep the stability and erotic alive!

Episode 34: Household CEO

Sharing joint leadership of the family home

Modern relationships require new ways of thinking about old roles such as domestic responsibility, not to mention new approaches.

There are patterns that make healthy intimate relationships and healthy demonstrations to children. However overtly or covertly there exist dynamics that we can fall into that can erode long-term stability and erotic desire in intimate relationships.

Episode 34 is about sharing joint leadership and care of the family home, rather than always relying on one person in the partnership to inform the other of what needs to be done around the house.

Even if you are willing to help but rely on that to be directed by your partner this can still be a passion killer over time as one part of the partnership feels the sole burden of being responsible for the home.

This episode will assist in keeping health, stability and desire in your intimate relationship long term.