Episode 149: Treating Self As You Treat Other

Giving to & approaching self in the way we do for others

Ask me to be present for another person in their moment of perceived failure and I am there with love, compassion, support and nurture. I’m full of encouragement and able to see effectively where they have done better than they presently believe.

However, in my moments of perceived failure, I take a very different approach! The automatic go to seems to be one of critical self-disgust, self frustration and anything else I can think of in the moment to metaphorically punish myself for! It's amazing how quickly I can go historical and bring up a mountain of other perceived failures to throw in my own face! Apparently, this is meant to help, ha, ha!

How can I get to more self-compassion, self-support and self-love? It is quite possibly in the moments where I most want to deny myself my own loving compassion that it is most needed.

Episode 120: Healing From A Toxic Childhood

Effectively addressing the effects of childhood trauma

If you grew up in an unhealthy family system of one form or another then you need to adapt and mould to try to survive your childhood. Some of those adaptations can end up being assets later however some get in the way of living a fulfilling and successful life as an adult.

This episode looks at some of the potential areas a person may need to focus on in order to heal and have peace of mind. We can face challenges in feeling safe in intimate relationships or even just with people in general. Trauma triggers to manage as we overreact to experiences that others take for granted. We can develop a painful relationship with pleasure and seek to avoid or sabotage experiences that could bring us joy. This amongst other elements needs to be understood so that they can be effectively addressed.

I hope you find this episode helpful!

Episode 108: Recovery From Toxic Family Systems - Part II

How the inherited inner critic impacts recovery

Recovery from having grown up in a very challenging family system can mean that you need to take several avenues to healing. If we have wounding that affects our relationships as adults, our ability to feel safe and also the level of effectiveness in problem-solving, then there can appear to be a lot to do.

This episode looks again at dealing effectively with the inner critic and how it can impact recovery. The inner critic can affect our self-compassion, self-regard, and our ability to effectively self protect.

The more we are aware of how the inner critic continues the legacy of family disfunction and learn methods for challenging, quietening and integrating the more successful our recovery journey.

Episode 101: Recovery After a Toxic Relationship

Challenges that may come up during the recovery journey

It would appear to be logical that after we leave a toxic relationship it instantly gets better and only improves from there. Unfortunately, when it comes to the road of recovery it can actually be an extreme roller coaster with a lot of mixed emotions. It is sometimes harder to recover from a toxic breakup than it is from a reasonably healthy relationship breakup.

It is so important to have a good support group around yourself as you begin to rebuild. It is also important to move at your own rate and speed. Avoid comparing your recovery journey to another as you are your own unique person. Others that are with us on the recovery journey are there for inspiration and support, not comparison.

This episode looks at some of the potentially unexpected things that can present on the road back to having our own lives on our own terms. If you are on the recovery road or supporting someone who is, I hope this helps in some way. You have my absolute admiration and respect! 

Episode 99: Receiving The Crumbs Of Love In Relationship

Growing your relationship with self

This episode happened to emerge from the recesses of my brain because I was wondering about how it is that sometimes I have settled for so little lovingness and put up with so much below standard behaviour. 

I was on the track of thinking about that in relationship with others, and then realised it was more reflective of my relationship to me. This episode is a bit of a muse and a ramble through the concept of standards of treatment and levels of tolerance.

How is it that, sometimes I find that it is effortless to devalue, belittle and shame myself? However, the effort to readdress that with some loving positive self-talk seems more hollow and anything but convincing?

At the moment when I need myself the most, I can go missing. As human beings, we are in my opinion truly amazing and my hope is that this episode helps in some way towards your own growing relationship with self. All the best on your journey!

Episode 65: Dealing with Internal Put Downs

How to set boundaries against negative self talk

We have become so skilled at denying our own inner lovingness, worth and value.

I can't remember where I heard this description about the Ego but I like it! Our Ego is our self loathing disguised as our self love! We have become masters at arguing very effectively with ourself about our own limitations. 

How do we set internal boundaries against seductive self talk that tries to convince us that we aren't enough!

Just because it feels real doesn't mean it is. I hope you find this episode assists you in staying connected to the magic of who you are!

Episode 63: Picking A Romantic Partner

Laying the foundation for healthy relationships

This episode is inspired by the number of people with whom I have worked who are tired of playing out the same painful dynamics in relationship, time and time again.

What can we do to ensure that we are giving ourselves the best opportunities to attract in people with whom we can work together to have healthy, stable yet passionate relationship dynamics?

Starting from a place where we feel equal to our partner not superior too or less than is a good commencing point and sets up good foundation.

Failed relationships can cost us so much emotionally, financially, spiritually and even physically. Hopefully this episode provides you with some navigation points to help maximise relationship success.

Episode 54: The How or When of Self Love

The power of asking ‘when’ questions

Sometimes we ask how to questions when there could be better questions to ask.

When questions can be very powerful and create for us an opportunity to approach a block or goal in a different way.

"How do I learn to love myself more?" A powerful question however different to: "When will I love myself more?" Sometimes asking when will we change is very different to how can we change.

This episode explores why that is the case. Asking when questions can open up whole new  experiences for us in our lives!