Episode 154: Tough Conversations To Preserve Our Relationship

Embracing challenging topics for better relationship health

If we are serious about having long term healthy relationships then we need to be able to have potentially challenging conversations. Even the most successful relationships are faced from time to time with anxiety, stress and temptation. Life has a way of sometimes making our best-laid plans and ideas look trivial.

As a couple, can we commit to being willing to work on our fight form? How as a couple do we improve bringing up the topics that are tough and risk a heated exchange? Can we work as a team on how we could have handled that last argument better? Are there daily tasks that are a source of irritation that we are trying to ignore? How long can we ignore those daily irritations before they build into a major explosion in the relationship that is way harder to work through?

This episode explores some of these questions and more.

Episode 148: You Should Really Know What I Need

How assuming your partner is a mind reader affects communication

The idea that the more we love someone the more skilled at mind reading we become causes more problems than it solves!

"You should know what I need if you really loved me!" This isn't helpful and in part stems from childhood where it was our parent's job to interpret our requirements. Depending on your family system that often didn't work so well either!

Healthy dynamics involve communication and willingness to clarify. As we grow and mature our needs change and also how specifically our needs get met.

It is fantasy to think that even with the best fit person for you, that they will magically always be in alignment with you and one step ahead of your requirements. Something of that nature is probably closer to unhealthy enmeshment than to separate adults willingly forming a relationship together and continuing to commit to the relationship as it evolves over time.

This episode looks at how the mind-reading assumptions that can appear in relationship dynamics get in the way of healthy relationship communication.

Episode 129: Money Conversations In Relationship

How to make money talks a source of joy rather than pain

Money issues are one of the largest points of friction for couples. This episode looks at some of the things that can be implemented to make money more a source of joy than pain in our relationships.

Couples can clash over a number of factors around money but one, in particular, is around its allocation and spending choices. Do we save or do we splash out on a holiday?

Being able to schedule consistent, open and focused discussions on money issues in your relationship without it ending in a massive blow-up is vital to long term relationship health and survival.

This episode looks at some of the areas that if attended to in advance can help to avoid emotion-fueled clashes.

Episode 90: Disagreements in Relationship Part II

Grow closer in times of conflict

Modern relationships are challenging and as we mentioned earlier a good relationship doesn't mean a conflict-free relationship. How we fight is more important over time than what we fight about.

In this episode we continue to look at the resources and focuses that can really help a couple to grow closer even in times of conflict.

There can be multiple areas of challenge and friction for a couple, not to mention differing priorities from time to time. How can we make the path forward as calm and as easy as possible? Avoiding conflict isn't the answer but getting proactive and jointly developing an approach to challenging times could really be advantageous to the relationship!

Episode 89: Disagreements In Relationship Part I

How can we meet in the middle for the long term success of our relationship?

Healthy relationships aren't conflict-free and require compromise from time to time. When we are choosing to make our romantic relationship a priority then working through differences in personality, preference and culture become necessary.

Differences can become so much more challenging depending on how we approach them. Research indicates that how we fight is far more impactful long term than what we fight about. Couples expert Esther Perel refers to this as fight form.

There are certain aspects of relationships that are solvable and in other areas perhaps it is best to consider how we most effectively work with significant differences over time with willing compromise.

Episode 82: Looking At Affairs Part I

Challenging assumptions about why people are unfaithful

The way the modern relational landscape is moving it has never been more important than now to begin to examine some of our outdated assumptions about why people are unfaithful.

As long as there has been committed relationships there have been affairs. We need to be able to accept that they happen and begin to work out better ways to approach and deal with them when they do.

The idea that "It will never happen to me!" is a very high risk idea to hold. How can we have more open and honest conversations with our partner regarding the inevitable times that we may find ourselves attracted and fascinated by another? Refusing to look at the things that can threaten our idea of a stable relationship isn't a safe way to go.

If we understand that things can and do change despite our best intentions then we can better deal with and face reality.

Episode 80: Getting My Kids to Listen to Me

How do I as a parent make it easier for my kids to hear me?

Modern parenting is challenging and one of those challenges is getting the kids to listen to our sage words of parenting wisdom! The reality is we can't make anyone listen who doesn't want to but we may be able to maximise our chances of increased receptivity in our children.

This episode looks at some of the ways that parents get in their own way when trying to lovingly guide their children through the journey of life. One way to get our kids to listen to us more is we must first listen to them more!

Despite our wise words children still tend to respond both consciously and unconsciously to what we do rather than what we say.

Episode 79: Romantic Relationships and Boundaries

Strengthen your romantic relationship by discussing boundaries

Boundaries in romantic relationships are so important and add to connection or distance depending on how we respond to them. Boundaries are about what is and isn't ok in relationship for us, and it is very likely that our partner’s ideas, or at least some of them, will be different from ours.

Boundaries in relationships is a vast area and will vary from couple to couple. However, there are ways to approach the discussion of boundaries in a way that can maximise receptivity. If done well and from a place of calm non-reactivity it can greatly add to the strength of the relationship.

I hope this episode gives you some strategies for maximising success with healthy boundary setting!

Episode 29: Communication Hierarchy and Business

Communicate effectively in a business hierarchy

Following on from the last few episodes that have looked at soft skills and their importance particularly in business, Episode 29 looks at what is needed to communicate effectively in a business hierarchy.

What is required to be more effective at communicating Up the business chain, lateral to yourself or to those whom you direct and lead? How do we make sure we are taking into consideration the scope of responsibility and motivational drivers of others especially when they are different to ours yet we work together?

This episode is useful for people who work in environments that have a formal hierarchy as well as those that have an informal hierarchy or more level based business structure.

These are principles that will help you stay relevant, be effective and get noticed!

Episode 27: Workplace Skills of the Future

How to stay ahead of the trends

This episode focuses on some of the elements that will be essential for ongoing success in business. These elements are equally valid whether you own the business or work in one.

This episode has been inspired by my experiences in many workplace cultures over many industries. It is also inspired by an article by Liz Burke on News.com.au entitled: Millennials vs Machine. Skills Young Australians Need To Compete With Automation.

Developing your soft skills so to speak such as enhancing communication skills and understanding the differences in people are relevant skills not just for those starting out but for anyone looking to remain practical and relevant in business going forward!

More and more companies are starting to look for and value soft skills, best to know how to stay ahead of the trends.