Episode 155: Parenting Convictions & Boundaries

Parenting principles for children’s long-term success

This episode draws on some of the work of Bowen Family systems author and therapist Roberta Gilbert. The episode looks at some of the navigating principles that we can employ to support in the roller coaster journey of seeing our children successfully through to adulthood. How do we prepare in advance for the amazing highs and anxiety-provoking lows.

How can we ensure that we are building our children up and not unintentionally undermining their long term success?

I hope that you find this episode a helpful resource and certainly recommend checking out the book: Connecting With Our Children by Roberta Gilbert.

Episode 126: Preparing For When The Kids Leave Home

Navigating the transition of kids leaving home

When it is time for the kids to leave home and we are faced with the empty nest there are a number of elements to consider. This episode is about addressing some of the areas that you may need to plan for ideally ahead of time.

How does our identity and interaction with our child begin to move from just parent to child exchange to adult to adult exchange? How will we negotiate time spent together and when to catch up?

Now that the kids have left, how will you now best structure your time? Are you and your partner now having to rediscover each other after relating through the kids for so long, what will that look like?

These and other elements for exploration are addressed in episode 126 and for those of you facing this phase.

I hope it aids in navigating this transitional phase as elegantly as possible!

Episode 115: Parenting Role With Adult Children

Reinventing an equal relationship with your children

As children grow, they move through different stages of development on the journey to adulthood. As their yearning for individuality emerges and especially as they reach late teens, early twenties the relationship with them begins to change. It can be very challenging and anxiety-provoking to the parent to step out of their directive role into a more adult to adult relationship.

What used to be a comfortable, familiar relationship is let go and new dynamics emerge for relating to your adult child as an equal. How, especially in moments of stress, can I deal with this person in the present rather than falling back into old relating dynamics and reactive, uninvited advice-giving?

It can be challenging to reinvent our relationship with our kids but if we can push through the discomfort, amazing things can be achieved!

Episode 96: Negative Effects of Power Over Parenting

Overcoming conflicted feelings about success

Depending on what type of Power Dynamic we experienced growing up, certain consequences can arise. If we learned that it was ok to share around the power and control depending perhaps on who was best equipped in the moment to direct, then we might find ourselves very comfortable to move between moments of leading and following.

However, if we experienced fixed positions relative to power and control where one person was always in the "superior position" regardless of competence, expertise or appropriateness then we can come away with mixed messages and feelings about success.

One way in which this can play out is with a mixed set of responses to success. If as a child every time you succeeded, took an authentic position or stood out you were in some way cut down or set back, then you can experience increases in anxiety when you succeed.

What we experienced as a child can create a double bind going forward where we crave success and yet are fearful of it at the same time. This episode explores some of that dynamic and what we can begin to do about it.

Episode 94: Children Witnessing Toxic Relationships

How exposure to abusive relationships impacts children’s present & future wellbeing

It can unfortunately sometimes be easier to think that if something didn't happen, or isn't happening to my kids directly, they won't be that affected! Witnessing toxic, abusive exchanges between one's parents on a consistent basis can impact children not just at the felt level, but can influence attitudes and beliefs about what an intimate relationship consists of. I may come away thinking that because people love me they get to hurt me! 

When we see a romantic relationship that is heavily tipped in the favour of one person then it can be very confusing. Especially when this obvious one-sided dynamic is consistently denied!

When supporting children to grow into adults that are capable of having happy, healthy, mutually respectful and genuinely loving relationships, what can we do to help? 

Staying open to conversation with our children and noticing what beliefs are held, supportive or otherwise is vital!

Episode 80: Getting My Kids to Listen to Me

How do I as a parent make it easier for my kids to hear me?

Modern parenting is challenging and one of those challenges is getting the kids to listen to our sage words of parenting wisdom! The reality is we can't make anyone listen who doesn't want to but we may be able to maximise our chances of increased receptivity in our children.

This episode looks at some of the ways that parents get in their own way when trying to lovingly guide their children through the journey of life. One way to get our kids to listen to us more is we must first listen to them more!

Despite our wise words children still tend to respond both consciously and unconsciously to what we do rather than what we say.

Episode 45: Parenting Awareness

Honouring the authenticity of our child

The parenting journey is so amazing and challenging at the same time and I can't think of a greater self-development course than embarking on the journey of raising a child!

This episode is designed to support parents and further champion children by inviting parents to examine their own childhood experiences. The more aware we are of the reality of what we experienced growing up the more conscious rather than reactive our parenting becomes.

We need to look with honesty and balance at what went on and how it may be biasing our parenting in a way that is not allowing us to honour the authenticity of our child.

It is hard to acknowledge our child's emotions if we didn't get much of that as a child. It is challenging to allow a child to be who they are if we grew up in a family with very strong ideas of expectation of who we should be to gain approval.

The more aware we are as parents of our drivers them more fulfilling, enriching and wonderous our relationships with our children can be!

Episode 36: Part II More Resources on Modern Parenting

Keep the parent/child connection strong

Keeping our attachment bond strong with our children is central to the health of the parent/child relationship. Without healthy attachment, every aspect of parenting and guiding young people to developmental maturity becomes so much harder.

This Episode continues on form Episode 35 and heavily utilises the ideas put forward in the amazing book for parents "Hold on to your Kids" Why parents need to matter more than peers by Gordon Neufeld Ph.d and Gabor Mate Ph.d.

This episode looks at some of the approaches that can help keep connection strong in the face of so many other elements of modern culture competing for the attention of our children.

A valuable episode for any parent, I hope you enjoy!

Episode 35: More Resources on Modern Parenting

Understanding attachment bonds with children

Parenting is challenging, especially with all the external demands that you face that can take away from precious time with children. 

This episode explores and helps you develop a little more understanding around attachment bonds with children. It also addresses a style of parenting approach that will help to really support healthy attachment for children compared to what can take away from healthy attachment.

Any information and increased understanding on the behalf of parents when it comes to supporting the development of healthy, resilient children has got to be valuable not only to the child but the parent as well. When we feel that we understand what is presenting then we move with greater assuredness and confidence, thus adding to our parenting.

Episode 28: Soft Skills and Emotional Literacy

Develop your emotional literacy skills in order to stay relevant in the workforce

Episode 28 continues to address soft skills in life and business. 

As business push more and more for the optimal point of effective goal achievement coupled with emotions harmony in the workplace. How do we continue to develop in this area, both as an individual and as a group/team?

This episode is also relevant to parents, especially when factoring in developmental maturity and not inadvertently setting children up to fail which later results in creating limiting beliefs in adults about their capacity to create and achieve!

I hope you find this episode gives you greater insight and food for thought around the power of emotions in business as well as insights into strategies for more effective management of this area.

Episode 17: Parenting Styles

Through greater awareness, we become more emotionally attuned to the needs and requirements of children.

Episode 17 Parenting Styles explores some of the ways in which we were parented. This awareness can be profound as it opens the door for more present and conscious parenting.

Especially in moments of stress and challenge which are unavoidable as a parent, it can prevent us from reverting back to what we were exposed to in particular if that was painful to experience as a child.

Episode 17 draws from the work of Jonice Webb Phd with Christine Musello and their profound book Running on Empty. Through greater awareness, we become more emotionally attuned to the needs and requirements of children as we navigate the ever challenging nature of modern parenting and its consequences.

I hope this episode promotes more exploration around what it is to be the champion, guide and protector of young ones.

Episode 09: Tips for Dynamic Parenting

Foundational frames to support parents in raising happy, healthy, and confident children. 

Parenting is such a challenging role, and like never before, modern parenting is presented with some novel hurdles to overcome.

This episode is based around some of the work of world-renowned author on codependency Pia Mellody combined with a number of other sources. In brief, we touch upon self-esteem, boundaries for children, teaching a moderate approach to life and much more. This episode is aimed at providing the listener with some fundamental touch points in supporting the welfare of your child or children.